Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I Love

In my other life as a traveling salesman, my best friend was always Talk Radio. Sometimes it would be the controversial Neal Boortz who got his start in Talk Radio over thirty years ago on a small station called WRNG Radio. The catch phrase was “Ring Radio.” Sometimes, he stirred my blood with his rudeness, but today he is wealthy with syndication all over the U.S.
Does the name Rush mean anything to you? In 1988, Limbaugh took his program national to set the standard.
My favorite Talk Radio personality in those days was one called Ludlow Porch, one of the all-time trivia masters, and champion of old people who enjoyed making up names for themselves when they called in to his program. Some of the ones that stand out in my memory after all these years are Jim Clip, Miss Kitty, M. T. Head and Homer Southwell, to name a few. Always introducing outrageous and funny subjects, Ludlow could bring up topics like the Sunday “funnies” to bring back wonderful memories. Some of you will remember them. Smilin’ Jack, Buzz Sawyer, Henry, Little Lulu, Dick Tracy, and on and on. What memories!
Once Ludlow had a guest on one of his radio programs who was extremely controversial. The topic was one about raising Naugas for a profit by selling their hides. Incensed, people became caught up in calling about the hides of naugas being sold because of the implication of cruelty to the poor little animals. The guest tried to assure the listeners that it was really not cruel, because the little naugas, once skinned, would grow back their hide to live another day. The beauty of raising naugas was the variety of colors they came in—green, orange, blue, red, and even black and white checked. The hide was especially popular in cheap funrniture, and unless torn, it proved to be very durable. If it got torn or cut accidentally, patching it with duct tape was a cinch. Some people became infuriated with the idea of raising the little slick-skinned animals purely for the purpose of using their hide for sofas and inexpensive recliners.
I think back on that day while listening to the topic of raising naugas for their hides, and I still think it might have been a spoof; Ludlow playing with some of our minds.
I have never actually seen a nauga, which brings me to the topic of a television commercial, which I have been seeing a lot of lately.
I love seems to me to be another spoof. “I just love my alpaccas,” the woman says. “They are so sweet and loving.” Now look, I can spot a spoof a mile away. They have taken the magic of television and spliced a camel head to the body of a shetland pony, added a lot of fur to him with some glue and presto! An alpacca. Doubtful? Go back and view a Star Wars movie and look at some of the furry critters in it. Can you say “Chewbacca?”

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